Overwhelmed Moms. I see you.
Being overwhelmed… well, sucks. It feels like nothing is getting done but you are running around full speed. Becoming a mom can be a life-changing experience. But it can also be really hard. The excitement of holding your newborn for the first time, watching them grow, and experiencing all those milestones—it's magical. But for many moms, the reality of motherhood is far different from the picture-perfect scenes often portrayed in social media posts and movies. We see mothers looking like they have it all figured out and are super hero’s. I know it feels so hard to see. But you, like many moms, might find yourself exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning what happened to the excitement you once felt.
If you’re a mom who’s reading this and feeling like you’re drowning in responsibilities, feeling tired all the time, or even wondering if you’re doing anything right, I want to remind you of something: you are still a good mom.
Sometimes at the end of the day when I just want 5 minutes to process, to think, and breathe ~ all my mind can think is Tired.
It’s okay to feel like motherhood isn’t quite what you expected. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and unsure of what to do next. Stress and overwhelm doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you human.
In this blog, we’ll explore the reality of being an overwhelmed mom, why it happens, and how you can start taking steps to heal from it, even if it feels like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of stress.
What is Mom overwhelm and burnout?
Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. While it's commonly associated with work, motherhood can lead to its own unique form of burnout. This happens because mom’s are often the ones who have to take on too many responsibilities, neglecting their own needs, and feel like they are constantly giving to others without receiving anything in return. Have you ever heard of the term default parent? It’s where all those extra responsibilities fall on one parent which veryyyy often tend to be the mom.
When you feel like you’re constantly “on,” it can quickly lead to feeling overwhelmed. It’s not just about the sleepless nights, the constant demands of your kids, or the laundry that never ends. It’s about a deeper sense of being overwhelmed and drained in every aspect of your life. End of the day what is the first word that comes to your mind? Tired, right? And when you're stuck in this cycle, it can feel like no matter what you do, you just can’t catch a break. How many times a day do you just want 2 minutes to yourself to breathe?
Signs of Burnout
Before we dive into how to heal, let’s first recognize the signs of burnout. If you’re feeling any of the following, it might be time to pause and reflect on your emotional and mental state:
Constant Fatigue
You feel like no amount of sleep or rest can recharge your batteries. You wake up from what felt like good sleep to only be still exhausted. Even when you do get a break, the exhaustion doesn’t seem to lift.This fatigue can be chronic and persistent, impacting daily life and well-being.
Overwhelming Stress
You’re constantly stressed, anxious, or on edge. It feels like there’s always something that needs to be done, and you can’t catch up.Overwhelming stress is a state where you feel completely unable to cope with excessive pressure or stress in a way that impacts your ability to function. It's a common feeling characterized by a sense of being drained or unable to manage daily responsibilities and life challenges.
Emotional Numbness
You may feel disconnected from your emotions, or even from your family. This is a defense mechanism your body uses to protect you from feeling overwhelmed. It is characterized by a feeling of detachment, apathy, and indifference towards typically emotionally evocative experiences.
Irritability and Frustration
The little things your kids do or that come up in daily life seem to irritate you more than usual. You may find yourself snapping at your kids or partner without meaning to. Extreme fatigue, emotional exhaustion, detachment from loved ones, and "mom guilt" are common signs. Common signs include emotional exhaustion, extreme fatigue, detachment from loved ones, and "mom guilt."
If these signs resonate with you, it’s important to acknowledge that burnout is real, and it’s okay to feel this way. None of this means you’re failing as a mom. It means you need to start prioritizing yourself and finding ways to take care of your own mental and emotional health. This isn’t about trying to kid you with finding ways to heal because I know it’s hard work to prioritize yourself and we don’t all the the same means of making that happen.
Why Do Moms Experience being Overwhelmed?
Motherhood is a rewarding and fulfilling journey, but it’s also incredibly demanding. As a mom, you juggle many roles and responsibilities—partner, caregiver, cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, and so much more. The pressure to be perfect, to keep everything in order, and to always be available for your children can take a significant toll on your mental and physical health.
Here are some of the primary reasons moms experience burnout:
Unrealistic Expectations
Society often places unrealistic expectations on mothers, expecting them to do it all without showing signs of struggle. The idea that “supermom” can do everything without breaking a sweat is damaging. It leaves you feeling like you’re failing if you ask for help or take a break.
Lack of Self-Care
Moms often prioritize everyone else’s needs before their own. Between the kids, the household, and the demands of daily life, it can feel impossible to carve out time for yourself. But without self-care, you won’t be able to give your best to anyone, including yourself.
Physical and Mental Demands
The physical and emotional labor of motherhood can be overwhelming. From sleepless nights and managing kids' emotional needs to the mental load of organizing your family’s life, it can quickly feel like too much.
The Guilt of Not Feeling Like You’re Enough
There’s a pervasive sense of guilt among mothers that they aren’t doing enough or being enough for their kids. Social media exacerbates this by showing seemingly perfect moms who have it all together. This can make you feel inadequate, further contributing to burnout.
You're Not Alone: The Power of Community
The first step in overcoming burnout is recognizing that you are not alone in how you feel. Motherhood can be isolating, and it’s easy to feel like you're the only one struggling. But in reality, many moms are going through the same thing.
Start by reaching out to other moms—whether through online communities, playgroups, or support networks. Talking about your feelings can help normalize your experience and alleviate some of the pressure to be perfect. It’s important to remind yourself that no one has it all figured out. Everyone is just trying to do their best, and that’s enough.
How to Start Healing from Overwhelm
Now, let’s talk about how you can start healing. Overcoming overwhelm doesn’t happen overnight, but there are steps you can take to begin the process.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step is to accept that you are struggling. Recognize that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, tired, and unsure. Acknowledge the mental, emotional, and physical toll that motherhood has taken on you. Self-compassion is key—treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend.Set Realistic Expectations
Motherhood isn’t about being perfect; it’s about doing your best. Reframe your expectations to be more realistic. It’s okay if the laundry doesn’t get done every day, or if dinner isn’t always a gourmet meal. Set boundaries with others and prioritize the most important tasks.Take Time for Yourself
It’s so important to take breaks, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, taking a bath, or simply sitting in silence for 10 minutes—make self-care a priority. This time is essential for recharging your energy and clearing your mind.Ask for Help
You don’t have to do it all alone. Ask for help from your partner, family, or friends. Delegating tasks—whether it’s having your partner take over bedtime duties or hiring help for cleaning—can relieve a lot of the pressure. Don’t be afraid to lean on others when you need it. Additionally, Therapy. Honestly, therapy changed everything for me and for the many overwhelmed mom’s I see. A good therapist can not only give you an hour of undivided attention to listen to your individual needs but they can also give you the tools you need to heal these, sometimes, intense feelings.Reconnect with Your Passions
Given up on your hobbies? Girl, me too. Well, I did at one point. But I am back to creating and spending much more time outside. Think back to the things that made you happy before you became a mom. Whether it’s reading, painting, traveling, or working on a hobby, try to reconnect with those things again. Even if it’s just a small block of time each week it’s something that gives you a sense of yourself again. It’s easy to lose yourself in the daily grind, but nurturing your passions will remind you of who you are outside of motherhood.Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
Mindfulness can help you stay present and manage stress. Take a few moments each day to check in with your body and mind. Practicing gratitude and self-compassion can also help shift your mindset. Instead of focusing on what you’re not doing, celebrate the small victories and show yourself grace.
Conclusion
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing as a mom. It means you’re human. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and exhausted—it doesn’t make you any less of a loving, capable mother. The key is to recognize when you’re struggling and take steps to nurture yourself, both physically and emotionally.
Remember, you are enough. You are doing your best, and that is more than enough. By taking small steps toward self-care and setting boundaries, you can begin to heal and rediscover the joy in motherhood. You don’t have to be perfect, just present and be kind to yourself.
Being a mom is tough, but you’re tougher. And it's okay to ask for help along the way. You’re not alone in this journey.
With love, Jennifer